I'm not working at the moment because I'm off sick. It feels like someone has been kicking me repeatedly in the kidneys and I'm hobbling around rather than walking. Still I'm alright if I'm sitting somewhere nice and warm with plenty of padding, which gives me a chance to do some writing inbetween chewing down painkillers.

Thank the Universe for Amazon in the ease of buying Christmas presents. No longer do I have to fight my way through crowds of gum chewing, slack jawed locals in the pursuit for something 'just right'. Even my mum uses Amazon (well, she tells my brother and I to buy stuff for the other and then throws the money at us. None of us are sentimental about Christmas, it's all about the swag...)

Now for an ambulance story.

I was working a late shift when I got sent to a RVP (Rendezvous Point), these are normally used when there is a suspicion that there is some violence in the offering - the last ones I have been to have been for the arrest of someone over firearms offences and for the possible stabbing of someone in a domestic violence case. Both of which were uneventful, the arrest went calmly and the 'stabbing' was actually a 'stabbing pain' with a thick accent.

This one was different, someone had smelt gas and had called the authorities. The fire service had arrived and cordoned off the road, the police were there to managed the scene and we were called in case something went *Boom*.

We were left alone with all these other services for quite some time, normally there would be a DSO (Duty Station Officer) at an event like this, but I think he was halfway across town. So I promoted myself to 'Ambulance (Non)Officer In Charge of Scene'. It's what we are supposed to do with 'major incidents', the first person on scene takes charge until someone with some pips on their epaulettes turns up.

I promise that I didn't stroll around trying to look important.

I found the fireman with the white helmet and had a chat with him, then i found the police officer in charge and chatted with him. then I updated Control, then I chatted some more with the police about the weather, our stab vests and why they make such good body warmers, and finally of the people who didn't want to be evacuated from their homes.

The man from the gas board came and went with various technical bits of equipment, then told the fire officer that he needed someone above him to declare it safe. The woman from the council's emergency planning group turned up and I had a chat with her, and managed to wrangle an offer for a cup of tea.

So we waited some more, our DSO turned up and tutted that it was me there, in his words, "Why is it always you at the centre of the chaos?"

I informed him that as I was in charge, there was no chaos...

A bit more of a wait around before the scene could be declared safe and we could all head off. I left just as they were about to dig a hole to see if the leak was worth repairing or some such.

A nice easy job, no-one was hurt, which is always nice and it managed to last me until the end of my shift so I even got off home on time.

(And yes, the title of this post highlights my inner geek).