SCENE ONE

Two men of the same age in a sparsely decorated bedroom. One man (REYNOLDS) is an ambulanceman, the other (SPOTTY BLOKE) is a man suffering from Chickenpox.

REYNOLDS enters

REYNOLDS
Hello sir, can you tell me what the problem is?

SPOTTY BLOKE
I have Chickenpox.

REYNOLDS
(Slightly non-plussed): Yes, sir, why have you called an ambulance?

SPOTTY BLOKE
I have a pain in my chest. I went to the hospital yesterday and they said to take painkillers.

REYNOLDS
And what else did the hospital say?

SPOTTY BLOKE
Nothing.

REYNOLDS
Nothing? Surely they said something, they must have spoken to you.

SPOTTY BLOKE
They said I have Chickenpox.

REYNOLDS
See, that's something. So the pain is the same?

SPOTTY BLOKE
Yes - I want to go to hospital.

REYNOLDS
I don't think that they are going to do anything different from yesterday sir.

SPOTTY BLOKE
But I'm ill, my son has Chickenpox and it's not bothering him.

Reynolds is obviously biting his tongue.

SPOTTY BLOKE
I want them to do blood tests.

REYNOLDS
For Chickenpox?

SPOTTY BLOKE
Yes.

REYNOLDS
It won't do any good, they'll just give you more painkillers.

SPOTTY BLOKE
I don't care - I want to go to hospital.

REYNOLDS
(Worried about being sued for leaving someone at home)
Fine sir, your choice. The ambulance is outside, we'll take you the 800 yards to hospital. Did you have an ambulance turn up like us yesterday? With blue lights and sirens?

SPOTTY BLOKE
Yes.

REYNOLDS
(Wondering if someone at the hospital might sue him for bringing a potentially infectious patient to sit in the waiting room for a few hours)
Sigh...

SCENE TWO

REYNOLDS again, now with a WOMAN a year or two older than him. The WOMAN is coughing rather a lot. We join them as the initial patient assessment is nearing the end.

REYNOLDS
...So, you've had this cough for a few days now?

WOMAN
(nodding) COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH.

REYNOLDS
Would you mind putting your hand over your mouth please?

WOMAN
(The woman doesn't move) COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH.

REYNOLDS
Ah. No then. Never mind, it's been a while since I've had a chest infection, and I'm only in a *little* bit of trouble for being sick so much.

WOMAN
COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH.

REYNOLDS buries his head in his hands and wonders how long he has until retirement. The WOMAN spits on the floor of the ambulance.

(And yes, I know the formatting is a bit wonky for a proper script, but it can be a complete pain to format stuff for this blog, some of the dialogue on REYNOLDS part may be slightly made up. But not by much).