...its 01:05, freezing cold and yet again, I've found myself driving the last train to Canterbury. The train smells of a combination of vomit, booze and McDonalds - which was 'nice'. On arrival at our destination, the guard runs up the platform and says she can't wake someone up. I walk back and low-and-behold... one p*ssed business-type, surrounded by empty cans of lager and worryingly, a half bottle of vodka with a straw in it. Having managed just about to wake the guy up (using the guards whistle and some shouting) - the *gentleman* in question opens one eye, looks around, and asks if we've arrived at Bromley yet.

On being told he's a good 60miles from his intended destination and there was no service back to London for 5 hours, his immediate response was....

...yes, you've guessed it...

"...well call me an ambulance... I don't feel well..."

Thankfully a passing patrol of Kent's finest were found and took charge of the individual - but it really does highlight the growing attitude of the public when it comes to the Ambulance service - that come the party season (or even if it's just Thurs/Friday/Saturday night), 999 = taxi ride to somewhere warm.

This is why we need a much larger number of fully crewed ambulances, then you could select the free ambulance with the longest time due till they finish their shift and have them drive you just under half that time divert to the nearest hospital in the middle of no-where and leave him there after cutting off all his clothes to check for injuries and a full stomach pump.

I bet he wouldn't do it again.

Sheesh, the guy lives in BROMLEY, give him a break - it's enough to make anyone want to down vodka by the pint, until all thought ceases.

Please don't hate Christmas! I know some people act like knobs around December and the amount of drunken calls flow in by the ship load and you get the odd; "I got scratched by a Christmas tree, please save me" call but... it's amazing :D, plus its more of a chance for your people to buy your book, because everyone will ask for it from Father Christmas!!

See, I respect your right to feel that way and express said feeling, much as I would respect it if you wanted to tell us it was all about the Baby Jesus, or if you wanted to embark on a rant about Christmas's pagan origins, or whatever.

BUT

I am going to continue writing cards and eating the choccies in my advent calendar, and I'm going to go visit my parents for a few days and I'm REALLY looking forward to it, and you shall not piss on my cornflakes, no no no. Ain't no f*cker bringing me down.

So ner.

You go girl!

With you there - when else is it acceptable to have a nip of sherry before lunch, and be pleasant to complete strangers inside central London? :o)

I actually think Christmas is the one time of year people behave like normal humans, and the only reason they overdo it on the booze is the sheer relief that comes from not having to be a hatchet-faced generator of tax-revenues.

It's also the only time many people are actually able to prioritise family, friends and the fun bits of life, like giving gifts and sharing food, instead of bolting down a sarnie at their desk, and working unpaid overtime.

So I find all the grouchiness amusing, but don't expect me to join in! :o)

Christmas stopped being fun when I stopped being a teenager. I'm sorry it's not just me!

I am 12 years old and I want to be just like you when I'm older! (the moaning about everything bit, not so much the ambulance stuff):)

yer me to only i am 13. although all those drunks really aren't making the job seem as good as i origionally thought it was( don't worry i no it isn't has fantastic as casualty make it out to be.!)

wow you're 12?! I thought I was the youngest on here!
[/end of distraction]

[back on topic]

We should get my dad one of those baubles -if they are actually available not just a image . He'd love it being the grumpy old man he is but trying so hard to hide and failing!

how old r u?

A man after my own heart. My secret santa present at the office party was a black 'santa' hat with "Bah humbug" on the white fur! They know me so well ....

The more I look around me this holiday season, the more I realize that Christmas was created by women. Although there's some mystical character named Jesus who is involved somewhere along the line, the whole holiday season is devoted to women's ability to move into any situation completely overtake it. Just take Christmas trees for example. The whole idea of bringing a dead plant into my house and then adorning it with shiny objects seems utterly ridiculous. In any other time of the year this would land you in a mental institution. However, here in the United States we gleefully embrace this behavior, and call anyone who disagrees with it a "Scrooge." We then go on to try to convince ourselves and others at the true meaning of love is based upon the dollar amount spent during the month of December. It truly is a sad way to live.

If it seems like it's all about the dollar, you're doing it wrong.

It is about warmth and light and GRAVIES* in the coldest, darkest part of the year.

(*gravy content variable. The value of gravy can go down as well as up. Always read the label.)

Typical of those bloody women to invent an occasion for getting dressed up, eating good food and drink, giving gifts, spending time with loved ones... and for many having an increased social conscience - why can't they invent the sensible stuff like war, prisons and ethnic cleansing?

I find it fun that you mention women "overtaking" an occasion - I take it you assume things work best with the male naturally in the lead?! LOL

Actually, I believe it was a male deity, Thor, who was originally honoured by the use of a tree as a sacred symbol in midwinter, and Prince Albert who popularised the custom in the UK, which then spread it to our former colonies...

So when will we found out what ure new book is goin to be called.!

'tis all between thy eardrums.

i don't get it!

dungbeetle, in his usual 'poetic' grasp of English (and I love him for it) is saying that I'm still thinking about it.

Which is true - these things take time, the title of a book is really rather important, much like the cover which 'sells' the book.

I personally don't think that you should hate Christmas time. Well, it really isn't my opinion to say, but think of how you loved it as a kid. If you didn't love it as a kid, sorry. Well actually a lot of adults just hate this time. I have a sister named elna who hates it. She didn't get any presents from anyone. That's because she is such a crab ass during these times. Her kids yell at her for being a "holiday wrecker" like a wedding crasher only at X-MAS. Her kids shouldn't yell, but that's all they see from her. I think she hates it because she thinks out great-great-great grandfather died on christmas. He actually died on March, 25 1997. She is insane. She can't stand her own children at this time. She didn't show up at thier assembly and she tried to cancel a party. My sister knows that my grandfather hadn't died then. She just hates that song "christmas shoes" by newsong. She says it demeans everything she believes in while i think it is the most beautiful thing! So just for your surrounding people, don't hate christmas. Nobody likes a "holiday wrecker". because it is the best time of the year. - sally anne chesnee♥