Sundays can be busy, very busy. I think that they can be busier than Friday nights, my theory on this is that there is nothing on telly so people get bored and start drinking/drug taking early in the day, and all those people with minor illnesses have nothing to distract them.
Even so, yesterday was a nightmare.
At one point there were 16 emergency calls waiting for an ambulance to be dispatched, but all the ambulances were busy. One of the local hospitals was so busy it had to "Divert" (which is when everything except heart attacks, major trauma and cardiac arrests are diverted to another hospital), the other two hospitals in the area were also full to bursting and we ended up having to put 96 year old patients in corridors as there just wasn't enough room anywhere else.
Busy A+E departments mean that because of the lack of beds all those elective surgeries that were planned for today will have to be cancelled and this results in waiting lists getting longer. Waiting lists getting longer means you get a lower rating from the government and so they cut the money the hospital gets as punishment, which is supposed to mean that patient care improves. (And of course every decent doctor/nurse/radiographer wants to work in a "failing" hospital which does wonders for the retention of staff).
It's a nightmare situation and I can't see it getting any better until we get more hospitals, more staff or the general public to realise that "belly-ache" for three days does not need to go to A+E because they "don't want to bother their GP" and to educate the GPs that telling the same patient to dial 999 for an ambulance because they are busy is not a good idea.

/rant mode off

Seeing as the last post was perhaps a shade negative (and having promised the judge that I would continue taking the medication) I thought you might like to know about some of the good things about my job.
My crewmate and I went to a man having a fit on Christmas day, he is a security guard and built like a brick out-house. This fit wasn't your "normal" epileptic fit, but instead the man was more "punchy" and aggressive. To say it was a struggle to get him on the back of the ambulance is to say that Paris Hilton has appeared on the Internet. Cutting a long story short, the patient is diabetic and his blood sugar had dropped to a dangerously low level. Luckily we carry an injection to reverse this and after wrestling with him in order to give him this drug he made a full recovery before we even reached the hospital. This is a nice job because we actually helped someone rather than just drive them to hospital.
Other benefits of the job include (but are not limited to...)

Working outside in the fresh air, I don't know how office workers put up with air conditioning.

I also like being my own boss. Maybe this is why I don't find "The Office" that funny.

Driving on the wrong side of the road with blue lights and sirens going, it's not the speed its the power

Being able to poke around people houses and feel superior even though you haven't done the washing up for two days.

No matter how annoying the patient is, knowing that within twenty minutes it'll be the hospitals problem.

Meeting lots of lovely nurses, and knowing that I get paid more than them.

And on the rare occasion being able to help people who are scared or in pain.

After yesterdays surprising number of genuine jobs it appears that reality has returned. So I find myself dealing with the usual rubbish. What is worse is that despite living in an "ethnically rich" borough (where the official figures are 53% ethnic minority) all the food shops are closed for Christmas and I'm starving to death. With all the Muslims around you'd think some would ignore Christmas and stick around to keep McDonalds open...
My normal foul mood has returned and so I offer the following words of advice, Don't call an ambulance if...

...You have haemarroids and after having a "poo" there is a streak of blood on the toilet paper.

...You are pregnant, have contractions every 30 minutes and your husband will "follow the ambulance in his car".

...That you are worried that your bellyache for the last three weeks hasn't gone away.

...You had some drinks last night and now have a headache.

...And finally, if your urine infection hasn't vanished after taking one of the 28 antibiotics you were prescribed.

I'm off now to find a kebab shop that is open, or die trying...

Sorry I had to interrupt that last post but the call which rudely disrupted my post was an old boy who'd fell over and broke his hip. It was one of those jobs where you really feel for the patient and try everything you can to make them more comfortable. The family helped us out and in the end thanked us, so I guess we did a good job. We also had a security guard who was slipping into a diabetic coma, unfortunately for us he wasn't going quietly, instead he was fighting and thrashing and spitting all over the place. Once we'd worked out what was wrong with him from the limited information his workmates could give us it was just a simple job of an injection to effectively "cure" him and bring him back to normality.
There were another couple of jobs just like that and it was this that made it a really strange day...everyone we went to actually needed an ambulance. And it wasn't just me, other crews reported exactly the same thing. All we need to do is keep that up for the rest of the year and I will be a very happy bunny indeed.

Merry Christmas, I'm at work at the moment and have had to deal with a woman who doesn't understand that antibiotics might upset your stomach and a bloke who has had a fit after taking some ecstacy at 9:30 in the morning. Oops, got a call...better go.

I can't stand Christmas, thankfully none of my (very small) family can stand it either. For me it's an excuse to visit my mum and eat her food.
Which is lovely.
Anyway for the eighth year running I'm working over Christmas, which isn't a problem as it means I get paid more (Of course I'm only working it so that one of my "married with children" colleagues can celebrate Christmas at home...*cough*). This act of kindness means that our "Christmas dinner/exchange presents/get pissed" will be happening on Christmas eve.

Better buy mum some presents today

I'm sitting here single on station (you need two people to man an ambulance, and if you haven't got anyone to work with you are "single" and therefore unable to work, but you need to stay on station in case they find someone else in London who is single. In that case you find yourself trekking across London to work in a place you've only seen on telly). I'm hungry and bored, partly because its nighttime, and partly because there is no-one else on station.
However I have a plan...
To counter the boredom I have a DVD I can watch on the stations new DVD player (bought out of staff funds, so no we haven't been defrauding the NHS) while the hunger will soon be solved by the microwave curry I have sitting in my car.
Let us now introduce a new member into the cast, when I said I was alone that was a bit of a lie, there is the station cat. Well at least I think its a cat as it is so threadbare it could be anything. This cat is so stupid it lies in front of your amublance just when you need it the most, and refuses to move until you physically have to kick lift if gently out of the way. However it is intelligent enough to realise that when someone is using the microwave there will be an opportunity for begging five minutes later (thirteen minutes if the food is frozen).
So I nearly fell over the damn thing stepping away from the microwave, only to spend the next ten minutes discussing with a mouth full of Korma why it wouldn't like to jump up on my lap and make off with my dinner. It went a little something like this...

Miaow.
"No you can't have any".
Miaow.
"You wouldn't like it".
Miaow.
"Go eat your own dinner".
Miaow.
Gets up, plate in hand to check that the cat does indeed have food/water/toy mouse.
Miaow.
"Will you bugger off!"
Miaow.
At this point I put the plate (still with some of my food on it) on the floor, which the mangy beast sniffs and turns his nose up at. Said "cat" then goes and hides under a table.

Horrible bloody creature.

I had my hair cut today, which has become a weighty decision in my mind. It goes something like this...

A) Do I get a crop or not? If I get a crop I'll look like I've just been released from a concentration camp, if I don't then I'll look like a paedophile.

B) Will my mum like it? If not then I'll have to put up with three weeks worth of moaning about how terrible I look.

C) Will this cut enhance my ability to attract members of the opposite sex? To be honest no haircut has ever done this, but I live in hope.

D) If I go to my local hairdressers will I get the trainee? And if I do will I be able to get my money back?

Anyway, I went in and got a "short-back-and-sides" and rather unfortunately I'm deaf as a post when I'm not wearing my glasses (for those who have 20/20 vision, you don't wear your glasses when getting a haircut). So when the whole place erupted in fits of laughter I didn't know if it was because of my rapidly growing baldspot.
(Still while I can't see it, it doesn't exist).
The best I can say is that I'm not having to brush my hair out my eyes with a pair of gloves covered in someone elses vomit.
Which is nice...

Rebecca Blood has written this rather nice article for the Guardian" The revolution should not be eulogised". It's an interesting look at the Weblog phenomenon.

The London Ambulance Service is giving us poor Ambulance drivers shiny new ambos to drive...well puke yellow rather than shiny, but they are new. These are Mercedes Sprinters outfitted in EURO RAL 1016 Yellow which is apparently the most striking colour available and is used throughout the European Union. They have lots of nice new bits for us to play with. Most importantly they have a tail lift so now we don't need to break our backs lifting some 20 stone lump into the back of the motor (thats 127 kilo for those using "new money").
I was asked by a friend what I thought of them, and having just finished my "Familiarisation Course" (four hours of playing with the new toy) I must say I do like it. Not only is the engine more responsive when moving off, but the brakes also work and the interior is much more professional looking.
The only real problem I foresee is that the tail-lift needs around 4 yards to unload the trolley and around London this means that we will have to park in the middle of the road, blocking off other traffic. So if you do see one of us blocking your way, please realise that there is no way we can park the things and be sure of being able to load a patient on board as well.
These things also cost £105,000 each and if we get the slightest scratch on them they have to be taken off the road and repaired (unlike the ones we have at the moment where they are beaten up until they stop working) and as our insurance is £5000 excess it'll mean a lot more money going to vehicle maintenance.

Should be fun, but I can't see them letting me drive one...I estimate if I can squeeze through gaps by driving until I hear the crunch...

Trade and Industry secretary Patricia Hewitt wants internet access for all by 2008. In 1998 only 9% of Britons had an internet connection and now by 2003 it is estimated at 50% that is a growth of 41% over 5 years (what a lot of numbers in one sentence).
While this is a nice aim I can't really believe that internet access is a priority for the sort of people I pick up in my ambulance, actually they might be more concerned about not needing to "hotbed" in order to sleep the whole family. I also wonder if the government would be better off housing 100% of the population, or providing work for 100% of the population or even (shock-horror) managing to reduce the frightening rate of child mortality in London, which runs highest at 0.86% in Lewisham (references here)
Of course there is an argument that internet access increases education which then translates into a longer lifespan, but I suspect that most folk won't use the internet to improve their life...but to download porn.