So why am I writing this? I mean it's not as if I'm an American and this is "Therapy" for some form of undisclosed trauma. I'm not a teenager (Thank The Gods!) so this isn't some cry for recognition of the hardships I'm going through. I'm not an egomaniac because I know I can't write, can't spell and throw commas around like confetti...
...So Why?...
...Probably because I absolutely love the idea of Blogs, PhoneBlogs, MoBlogs and all that Jazz. I'm a sucker for Wi-Fi, Broadband and personal reportage that bypasses the Monolithic BBC. But mainly because we live in a world where foreign governments can kill "suspects", where Governments seek to charge you to spy on you and where I couldn't buy a tiny one bedroom flat in a shitty part of London for the cost of a seven bedroom estate in Scotland.
Oh...and I like to moan.

Die Puny Humans: "die puny humans", What can I say...Warren Ellis has a more optimistic view toward people than I do, but even so this is one of the better places that I visit to read things that make me grind my teeth in pure despair.

Simple really, and hardly controversial, except that I live in England and really couldn't care less about showing "pride in my nation" by flying an American flag. Nor do I really care to see "singles in my area" when my area isn't actually Wisconsin.
I started using the Internet many years ago...So many I can't remember, but it was with the Lynx text based browser, Babylon 5 was just starting and no-one warned you about putting your email address in your Newsgroup postings.
Therefore I have about 180 Spam messages a day cluttering up my Inbox, which makes my ability to pick up Email over my Mobile phone pointless, because I spend 36p/min downloading penis extension programmes.

(For the record, I'm more than happy with my penis and it's length, it does it's job, which is to give pleasure...to me at least)

It is the impotence (try www.curemyflacidwilly.com) in which I have no power to seek revenge for these transatlantic scrotes (for it is hard to firebomb an office halfway across the world) which is the main source of my anger...

...So a question to any American who is reading this...When they have a Toll-free number listed...

(a) Does the company pay the phone bill?

(b) How much will it cost them if I ring them from the UK and then leave my phone off the hook?

If the answer to these questions are respectively "Yes" and "Quite a lot" then I may have formed a new line of revenge. Of course I doubt it's that simple.

But I live in hope.