The dispatch system is on crack. It also gives an amputated finger a Green 2, which is the lowest category you can get, also used for insomnia, cotton buds stuck in ears and paper cuts.

If I may --- dispatch sent us out on a call for "patient not breathing but conscious". If you could have seen the images that went through my mind. HEH!!

We had a call that was similar to that, patient was breathing, then wasn't, then was, caller couldn't tell. Turned out the patient was dead, and had been dead for sometime...

And don't get me started on the "Cut finger", patient has DIB/Chest Pain/Not Alert symptoms.

Or on people who think that a UTI is 'Chest pain'.

What the hell? How do they manage that? Is the snottery nose classed as respiratory distress or something?!

Telephone Dispatch ask the patient "Do you have difficulty in breathing"

Patient says "Yes"

We get the job as a 'Cat A' Blue lights/sirens/weaving down the road call.