I was miles out of my area, but this was not a worry, as the sun was shining, the scenery was pretty (well...prettier than Newham, not that that is hard to do) and there was some nice music on the radio.

Then the call came down my terminal. 'male ?suspended in car'. I consider it a personal strength that I was thinking 'excellent! I can use my big trauma shears to break a window'. I soon reached the car and was dismayed to find the passenger door open, and two bystanders watching the man intently.

"He's breathing", they said.

I tried to hide the disappointment that I wouldn't be smashing any windows.

Checking the patient, who was slumped over the passenger seat drooling like a baby I immediately thought that it would be one of three things. He was either having a diabetic crisis, had just had a stroke, or was just incredibly drunk.

A quick test of his blood sugar showed that he wasn't diabetic, a neurological assessment showed that he probably hadn't had a stroke (he was also younger than me, so a stroke would have been rather surprising). This left the last option. He was drunk.

Once more I found myself cursing my own particular disability - that I can't smell alcohol. Thankfully the ambulance crew turned up and let me know that he did indeed stink of booze.

The crew loaded him onto the ambulance, which was tricky as he could hardly walk, while I turned off the engine to his car,amazed that he had driven as far as he had without crashing into something. He was also lucky he'd stopped when he did, as less than 100 meters away was a main road with a speed limit of 50mph...

We called the police, who duly arrested him. Meanwhile he kept saying that all he wanted to do was die...

...I would think that his desire to die would only increase as his hangover hits him in the police cell. I got the impression that the reason he was drunk was because he had had an argument with his family.

Somehow I don't think that getting arrested for drink driving (oh, and his tax disc was out of date as well) will do him any good with his family.

See, I keep telling people that getting pissed solves nothing. But do they listen to me? Do they buggery...

I had to do a police statement, before going back to work, returning just in time to get called to a Bed and Breakfast where an alcoholic was having a panic attack.

I have a hilarious story to tell you later, but before I write about it I need to check my sources...