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View Article  Warren Ellis XIV

Kara remembered the times when the transhumans roamed free through the biodegradable cities, lionesses holding hands with teenage boys who had the zebra skinjob, but couldn’t afford to clean the acne from their cheeks.  She remembered the unique culture that grew up around the people who had undergone the dracoform modifications, there were rumours that they induldged in ritualistic cannabalism, but when your reproductive system has been changed so that you lay eggs – who is to say what constitutes eating your young.

Cyberwear had fallen out of fashion, and oh, how she remembered laughing at the ‘punks in the old folks homes, with their  skinweaves tight over old, worn flesh.  She had laughed at their cerebral computers which had been rendered obsolete a hundred times over, why, she had thought, would anyone put unyielding metal in their bodies.  Instead of cold hard metal, the geneengineers had their soft science, molding bodies instead of cutting them, merging liquid computers with the grey toothpaste of the brain and playing with genders as if the whole boy/girl concept was modelling clay.

But it had all ended – biotech became obsolete, instead the new nanofactories took over.  Microscopic machines that build and destroyed without emotion, it was perhaps inevitable that things would go wrong.  No-one knew what caused the disaster that followed, some thought it was African Mafia with a failed blackmail attempt on the Eurasian collective.  Others theorised that it was a lone crazed nanohacker, others that it was a skript-kiddie prank gone wrong.  Perhaps it was just one flawed nano amongst the billions that were made that year.

Whatever it was, it destroyed the world – nanites multiplying out of control, eating the concrete and the metal, turning it into oxygen, and carbon, and water.  Thankfully the ‘Holtman protocols’ were still intact, so it was unable to touch organic material.  First the cities fell, then the iron cores that held the sum of all human knowledge.  With only a few books in the hands of collectors, and millions of people killed in the riots, let alone the starvation (it had been centuries since simple farming could feed the huge human population), humanity sank back into a dark age.  They forgot technology, they forgot history, a few ‘wise men’ protected the people, and gradually they too died.

Kara remembered this, although it had happened over 300 years ago – she, like many of her generation had been gene-fixed to become immortal.  Over the years her peers had thinned – the wolf-boys had taken to using their enhanced bodies to hunt sheep, and other more human prey.  They had been some of the first to go to the fire.  Then came the goth-kids, altered to become more like their vampiric heroes, they too had fallen to the superstitons that held anything from before memory as inherently evil, their pale skin made them easy targets.

In her old life Kara had been a doctor, her body had been modified to release chemicals, chemicals that healed, that caused sleep and eased pain, and those secret chemicals that brought euphoria.  She had been moving from village to village, helping where she could – but now the wrong people had been made to fall in love, and Kara had to run from the village to stop from being burned as a witch.

She wondered how many more of her kind were out there, immortals who were now becoming creatures of legend, she wondered how many would continue should humanity manage to pull itself out of the pit it found itself in, continue to see the same mistakes made.

She wasn’t sure that she wanted to be one of them.

Written in about 20 minutes, first draft, complete crap.  Started alright, but then lost the flavour around the third paragraph.

All posts with utmost respect to Mr. Ellis

View Article  Warren Ellis XIII

Japlish at its bestJaplish at its best.  An entire site with snapshots of the peculiar brand of English as spoken by the Japanese.

My personal favourite is “Rock Crap” instead of Rock Crab.

View Article  Warren Ellis XII

We have seen people using computer games to make movies, now some people are taking the slightly simpler option of making comic books using computer games.  Most of these are pretty poor, mainly due to the writing of these things, partly because the four-colour super-hero style is old fashioned, and partly due to the difficulty in properly composing a panel.

I’ll only be happy when one of these comics has the same panel repeated 12 times in a page, only half of them having dialogue.

Make me suffer Mr. Ellis?, I’m trained to make people suffer, and while I may well buy and enjoy all the things you write, but I can still take the piss out of ‘decompressed comics’.

View Article  Warren Ellis XI

M I U R A are an experimental three piece..

Certainly the way we view life is going to come out in the music. Nowadays the idea of preaching to someone is thought of as beating someone over the head with your idea of how life should be lived. In our opinion, the best way of showing someone the best way to live life is by living it. That's the stance we take. Certainly our views are going to come out in the songs but maybe in a different way. Miura based out from Manjung. The atmosfera, kind of going along with the idea that God has been so good to us and learning to understand his goodness is a life-long process. We think that's a positive and refreshing thing. Hopefully we'll increase our thirst and hunger for truth and the idea that life is meant to be lived. There's a shift to the spiritual dimension of this life, that we are more than just machines. In music, the idea that we can express these things to people, that is what we're made for, at least for this particular moment in our lives.

Myspace music is pretty good, and you can find some complete gems there, easy to search and plenty of downloadable/streamable goodness.

View Article  Warren Ellis X
Just a couple more before midnight, then tomorrow will be my last 'emulation post' as I'm back on glorious night-shifts

Some excellent use of demotivational posters here and here.

The ambition one made me laugh like a drain.
View Article  Dodgy Kebab
So there I was, watching the local news and they have finally told people about the dodgy kebab shop that I blogged about here and here. The BBC have written about it on their website (and thanks to Emma for pointing it out to me).

I'd just like to have a bit of smugness about how a blogger broke the news before anyone else.

Shame no-one else really noticed.

(Nearly forgot about this, what with all the searching for people who mutilate their own genitals online)
View Article  Warren Ellis IX
Do you find yourself missing your local radio station while away from home? Radiofeeds, will point you to online streaming versions of radio stations from across the UK.

Now if TV companies would just give up on trying to stop home downloading, and let you watch their programmes across the internet for a reasonable charge.
View Article  Warren Ellis VIII
Alabama 3 are a group of musicians from Brixton, who pretend to be American deep South preachers. Their website is (with the exception of a shop that isn't working) everything that a band's website should look like. There are downloadable MP3s and streaming audio and even some videos of their live performances.

They, along with The Polyphonic Spree, are my favourite live bands.
View Article  Warren Ellis VII
I'm off to pour bleach in my eyes, DO NOT LOOK

ABSOLUTELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK - DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU
View Article  Warren Ellis VI
A lot of commenters seem very interested in the phenomenon that is "foreign rectal bodies". So until I do a full posting about things I've seen up people's arses here is a link or two to be getting on with.

(Safe for work, only if they allow educational pictures of x-rays of revolvers stuck up people's bums)
View Article  Warren Ellis V
Ancient Chinese Sex Toys, the text may be in 'foreign', but the pictures speak a thousand words.

(Safe for work, as long as your work doesn't mind you looking at rusty iron dildos)
View Article  Warren Ellis IV
Are you as amused as I by the sight of people hurting each other?

Then you may be interested in the following short video. (Safe for work)
View Article  Warren Ellis III
Weird old comic covers.. Exactly what it says on the tin.

Although the music makes me want to go stabby.
View Article  Warren Ellis II
Why can't I follow everyone's comments in RSS? I subscribe, via bloglines to a hell of a lot of blogs - most of which allow comments.

What I would like is a way to subscribe to comment threads and have them delivered either into a folder in Bloglines, an email address of my choosing, or some other web-based application. If any of you lot know how to do it, you can have my second-born child, my first-born is already spoken for - why do you think I look so eternally youthful. What do you mean, I don't look youthful?

Bastards.

What would be even better would be if I could reply to comments from within Bloglines.
View Article  Warren Ellis I
Today's posts are brought to you by the sponsors...
Red Bull and Stella
And by cheap formica tables.
Welcome to Random Acts Of Reality, a Blog based in London, England, written by an E.M.T working for the London Ambulance Service. Also, number one search result for "Womble porn". All names have be changed to protect the guilty. This Blog was previously known as "Why I Hate Humanity" but the antipsychotic medication seems to have kicked in.

All opinions on this website are mine alone, and may not reflect those of the L.A.S or other ambulance crews

Find out more about me here.

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