It’s not all carrots, as some people have already mentioned in the comments section, sometimes it can be things that are ‘supposed’ (sort of) to be used in such ways.
I was working in Triage in A&E at the time, where my role was to do the initial patient assessment to see how urgently they needed to be seen. A young man and his girlfriend walked in, the male was in obvious distress and I soon found out why.
The pair had been indulging in ‘sex games’ and they had been using a vibrator. Unfortunately for the male, his girlfriend had gotten a bit vigorous in inserting it into her boyfriend’s rectum, and it had gotten sucked into his body.
What people need to realise is that there can often be ‘suction effect’, which means that things will just shoot up there and refuse to come out.
Well, being the kind of nurse I once was – I had to have a listen. So the stethoscope came out, and after being gently applied to his abdomen I could hear a loud buzzing noise. I wondered how long the batteries would last.
The patient, while worried about his health, was more concerned that his mum would find out that he was at the hospital, and would turn up demanding to know what had happened to her son. Not wanting to be the nurse who had to explain to an irate mother that her son had a vibrator stuck up his arse, I got him seen as quick as possible.
We got an X-ray taken, and it looked much like the picture here – you could see the circuitry really well, while the ‘body’ of the vibrator was a lot harder to see.
He was booked for surgery, and just before he was about to go the theatres - his mum turned up.
He started off by trying to tell her that he had a generic abdominal pain, but she questioned why he needed to go to surgery for a belly-ache. So he sat her down in a private room, (provided by me, I may be cruel, but I’m not that cruel) and explained exactly what happened.
To be fair, his mum took it quite well, there was no shouting, ranting, arguing or even sniggering. Instead she was supportive, if a little bemused.
Myself – I think my mum would disown me…
The vibrator was removed under anaesthetic, and the patient made a full recovery.
I don’t know what happened to the vibrator though…
If you ever need to know how to remove strange objects from dark holes – you can get some ideas here. I particularly like the advice not to pressure the patient for details, as it may be embarrassing.
