First off, I’m apparently mentioned in the current issue of Web User magazine.  So if you come from there, Hello – you can get to the archives from the sidebar over on the right, oh, and it’s best to wipe your feet on the way out.

Lots of little interesting things today, nothing too serious thankfully, and given the warm weather, thankfully no decomposing bodies.

First off, there is an emergency GP doing the rounds who seems to have some strange ideas.  Examples of his work are the elderly woman who is dizzy and has jaundice, a man with all over muscle pain for two weeks, and an elderly man with “fluid on the lungs”.  All these were prescribed antibiotics, and were told, “It’s probably an infection, but I don’t know where”.  I’m not sure if it’s the same GP, but if it is, then they really are pointless.

This is probably why the Primary Care Trusts like the ambulance service – because we don’t faff around, but take everyone who is ill to hospital, and leave the well ones at home.

I went to a little old lady who had fainted.  Absolute darling (if only because she laughed at my “you should take more water with your gin if it makes you dizzy” joke), but who didn’t want to go to hospital because she cares for her disabled husband.  They lived in a warden controlled flat, but the wardens in those places aren’t supposed to do any ‘caring’ work.  Our patient wouldn’t go to hospital and leave her husband – so, falling back on my nursing experience, I got control to call the social services that look after that family.  After promising that everything would be fine, she agreed to go to hospital.

Why did I go through Control to contact the social workers, rather than phone them myself?  Well…Control record all the phone calls they make – so if someone promises to do something, then we have the proof…

Not that I have a lot of experience dealing with social workers at all…

Yesterday I went to the same street twice – on two occasions, twice to ‘Dick’ street, and twice to ‘Harry’ street.  Today I went to the same street (outside my area) twice as well.  I wonder if something is trying to give me a message?

I got a job as a “15 year old Suspended at school” (suspended is a polite way of saying ‘dead’), I don’t think my foot lifted off the accelerator pedal at all to the school, and I suspect that a lot of rubber was left on the pavement as I power-slid around the corners (who says computer racing games are no use?).  I hit the school at about the same time as the ambulance crew (who had also driven like maniacs), and we ran up three flights of stairs, across the school, and down three flights of stairs.  I saw the girl laying on her side, rolled her over, and had a huge sigh of relief as she recoiled in horror from my ugly face staring down at her.

The patient had very little wrong with her, much to all our relief.

We were all understandably happy, but then the adrenaline crash hit us pretty hard, and coupled with the physical exertion of running, I felt like crap for half an hour, until a nice cup of tea worked it’s magic.

However…

Tomorrow, I shall be on the hunt.  I shall be hunting for a specific lollipop man (or whatever they are called these days).  When I find him, I shall be shoving his stick where the sun doesn’t shine.

The reason?

Picture the scene - I’m racing down the road on lights and sirens, I think I’m going to a dead 15 year old, I am driving, as previously mentioned, at a stupidly fast speed.

So what does this bloody idiot do to a kid waiting on the other side of the road?

He tries to get the kid to run across the road before I get there!

This sort of thing makes me want to go stabby…