Can I have one of these please boss?

It is designed to plug into an oxygen cylinder and will automatically perform effective CPR (they tested it on pigs, which I can't really support - I like pigs, and I have friends who love pigs.)

I mean, not only will it mean that I can be lazy and not actually have to jump up and down on someone's chest, but if I'm the sole responder I can then concentrate on breathing for the patient.

Also it is more effective than manual CPR, and unlike me it doesn't get tired.

Only £6,000 - we can't let Staffordshire ambulance service beats us now, can we?

Note - photograph from the Daily Mail website, copyright does not belong to me.