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I hope that it does make The Friday Project huge amounts of money, because everyone who works there is lovely* and they deserve good stuff happening to them.

Proof, perhaps, that a Creative Commons release will only sell more books?

*With the exception of Pond, who is wicked.**

**Wicked as in Evil, not in the 'street word for good' way.

I'm the new 'Health And Safety' representative for our station. I'm assuming that there is a reader out there who is knowledgeable of such things. If so, could you point me in the direction of training course that I could apply for?

I know I could Google for the info, but I'm too busy/lazy/stupid. Mainly busy. Honest.

I am currently so tired I'm not actually human at the moment - after a few litres of Coke I approach sub-human. This is not a huge disadvantage in this job.

Thankfully it was a pretty easy day today.

One call was to a teenage girl with abdominal pain, diarrhoea and vomiting. She described herself as an alcoholic. I let the nurses at the hospital know, perhaps she'll get referred to the social services, perhaps she is already known to them.

Then there was a homeless guy who was suicidal. The community mental health team wasn't interested in seeing him, so he went to A&E where the nurse in charge took good care of him.

Another call was to one of our 'regulars', a child who keeps collapsing. He's a nice enough lad, but so far investigations have shown nothing. It's believed that he collapses because of stress over bullying, various people are involved in his problem.

The final call of the day was to an ill person that we never reached. On the way to the call we came across a four year old child which had been sat on the crossbar of her father's bike. Somehow she'd got her foot caught between the wheel and the forks of the front wheel. There was some serious swelling and bruising to her foot and ankle, thankfully she wasn't otherwise hurt. It's possible, but unlikely, that she could have broken a bone in her foot.

The child was really grown-up, hardly crying at all. She did keep giving me a sullen stare though...

Darn kids can see right through me.

Everyday I meet a new kind of stupid.

A woman, thirty-five years old, mother of two children went to her GP. She had a swollen belly and pain which came and went in waves. She also hadn't had a menstrual period in over nine months. That morning, just after the pain had started, she had lost some fluid from her vagina. The pain was getting worse and the waves were getting closer together.

The GP did a (completely unnecessary) pregnancy test which - surprise, surprise, come back positive.

The GP was incredibly relieved when we arrived.

We had just managed to wheel her into the maternity department when the baby made an appearance. My crewmate helped the midwife deliver the baby while I was hiding in the ambulance. I'm quite happy for any baby (not of my own) to be born with me not watching, I suspect the woman was quite happy I wasn't there as well.

Here was a woman who was fully aware of what pregnancy is like, she wasn't even in denial - the whole thing came as a complete shock. Her husband looked completely shell-shocked as well.

The whole thing really beggars comment.