It was a bit of a 'stabby' weekend, I don't normally do 'sexy' calls but for some reason I had two stabbings on two consecutive nights.

The first was a young man who had been stabbed in the street. His main injury was a stab wound through his thigh, he'd leaked a fair bit of the red stuff, but not enough to particularly worry us. He also had a slash wound across his chest but this was fairly minor. What made the job tricky was that there was around 40 youths all milling around, all wanting to talk to their 'bruv'.
Our patient was more concerned with getting his mobile phone back from one of his friends. I'm guessing, given his demeanour, that he wanted to arrange a retaliation. Meanwhile more and more of his friends were arriving and causing trouble for the police. For some reason the people of Newham seem to enjoy ignoring 'Police:Do Not Cross' tape.
We blued him into the local A&E where he was treated (and probably discharged later that day).

The next day had another stabbing, this one somewhat different.

The patient didn't want his girlfriend to leave him, so he stabbed himself in the stomach.

(No, I have no idea either, especially as this was the third time he'd done this to himself).

What made it annoying was that the patient was pretending to be unconscious. As it was difficult to see how deep the wound went, and we had been told that it may have been three inches deep, we blued him into the local A&E. After the doctors there poked a metal probe into the wound they discovered that it was a minor injury. I left him in the A&E still pretending to be unconscious.

The police officer who came with us just wanted him to admit that it was self inflicted, then he could leave. He was only there to check that it wasn't the patient's girlfriend who had stabbed him.