Umm... how much lager did you say? I'm surprised the uniform thing doesn't work for you...certainly firefighters seem to have to beat them off with sticks.

Green uniform + pot belly = not calender material.

Wear a wedding ring, It does wonders for a man over 25, brings out the competive ego in Girls. They like to see that experience, and girIs feel safe until too late. I know, never wore a ring and have been married for 48 years and never been bugged. My true batchelors aquaintance are always complaing about the lack of attention, as they don't have a white mark, but all the married fellows always be complaing how to unload the extra attention.

If you lived in Melbourne, sex would definitely be in the offing. I already sent you money!

oooh mr Reynolds be careful what you wish for...............
b.t.w. sorry the email I sent you contained no porno shots of my naughty bits :o)

ok feeling sorry for you now... here's a pussy shot just for you

Superb!

Well, your lack of female attention is a mystery, because really you are TOTALLY cute! (I'm speaking from the female point of view, being a female myself.) Look around, Tom. I bet there are plenty of women interested, but for some reason you are not perceiving them!

Hmm... I wonder if Mr Reynolds will be holding his head in his hands when he's sobered up and reading this back?

On the other hand, given the attention he is BOUND to receive, he may well think it's the best post he's ever left!

Oh and by the way...I agree with DD's take on things ;)

Not holding my head in my hands - but it did need something drastic done to it before my mate's 'friends' read it, in case it identified him.

fret ye not. He probably opened his spam of "Hot chix want 2 chat 2 u NOW! Live WebCams!" and thought it was real, or something ;-)

Or went to faceparty *shudder* I know a couple of armed forces lads who reckon that might have been set up by the MoD so that they could find desperate-for-sex 18 year olds anywhere in the country.

You may moan now, but just wait until August; they'll be falling out your pockets then...

;-)

That's the whole reason behind the book - to get more (and by more, I mean any) women throwing themselves at me...

You know when I met you I couldn't see why you were having trouble pulling, I thought you were rather good looking. I thought maybe you have a secret personality problem we don't know about, or you pick your nose and eat it.

I could tell however you were scared of the prospect that I might throw myself at you, as most men are (I'm sure it's just a natural fear of being flattened), so don't tell your poor female fanclub that you'd make do with anything with a pulse, cuz it's just not true!

I pick my nose and eat it. It's good for you.

...and that wasn't fear in my eyes - it was hunger. I was absolutely famished.

Aw, Tom. Were I not getting married in six months, I might be up for some throwing. Out of interest, who is the 'other blogger'?

*throws self at Reynolds*

Dude, since I'm tall, overweight, and throwing myself from the north of Scotland, it's gonna really hurt you when I land :)

What you need is a cold shower and a cup of bromide.

Sorry I'm a smoker ;) Oh and attached. But if I wasn't...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/beckyjsbx/me/me28.jpg

"female, has a pulse, non-smoker, not insane, in the same country as me"

Check. Well, possibly a little insane, but no more than most females. You don't mind the long-term disability do you? No? The boyfriend might be an issue though...

Have a pic:
(yes, that's me)

So I just need to see off a boyfriend?

I've already posted my best pussy shot, what more do you want?

hey! when did you visit my house and snuggle Bruno? ;)

Bruno is safe, that cat has no teeth and thinks it's a dog.

worryingly that pic, of me lying back, legs akimbo and stroking pussy, was taken at the home of two of evilstevie's male friends. I now work for them on a voluntary, part-time basis.

(c'mon, how much more dodgy can we make this sound?)

maybe we could bring the bubblewrap and tape into it?

Consider this an invitation to throw yourself at me.

Damn, last picture didnt work. Will try this one

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v345/beckyjsbx/me/me28.jpg[/IMG]

Bats eyelashes ;)

Oh bugger it then, gives up

I think you wanted to do this...

Great hair!

And Tom, you know you do have a harem really. It's just a bit more *cough* restrained.

I guess we now have a good way of telling when Spring has arrived....

Well if nothing else, these posts have shown you to be popular with the females here. Autumn spring is finally here, and I seem to recall a post months ago about how you enjoy this season a little more than the others ;)

So just how do you do that? I thought photobucket would work

you'll need the pointy brackets over the comma and the full stop (assuming you have a standard english keyboard). I'll use round brackets instead so you can see the code, just replace them with pointy ones. Code is:
(img src="http://www.address of your image.com/whatever.jpg")

remember to include the quote marks.