It is a shitty job, and unfortunately sometimes, you do have to leave your feelings behind - there is only so much emotional trauma any one person can take. Yet you keep doing it for the times when things do go right. The times when you do get a patient breathing again. The times when just one small seemingly insignificant thing that you do saves someone's life. Those are the good times. Those are the times that you're in the job for. Not times like this. My sympatheses go out to the family, and I hope that both yourself and the crew are alright (mentally and physically in your case). Kindest regards, Nick http://nickhough.blogspot.com/