The numbness after something like that can be frightening. I'm not in a caring profession (quite the opposite) but I speak to bereaved familes a lot, and my job involves getting to know as much about the (tragically and prematurely) dead person, and the impact of their death, as possible. When I first started doing it, of course I'd come home and cry. I was more worried the first time it didn't really bother me. But if you're dealing with tragedies for a living, you do need to develop an emotional shield. It doesn't mean you don't understand the searing pain the family are going through, or that you don't go through it yourself when you have your own sadness. It doesn't even mean that there won't be situations and people that still affect you deeply. But it means you can continue to go about your job effectively without it destroying you - and when the job's as important as the one you're doing, that's all the more important. If you'd had a moment of clarity through the adrenalin rush while you were treating that poor girl, would you have been able to do as much for her?