This is making me feel a bit like I did at school - if you act up, do drugs, make a nuisance of yourself, then you'll get all the care and attention and fuss and support and rewards for behaving normally. Or you could keep quiet, be good, struggle through those black times without a single person knowing about it, make the effort, fight to build your own future by yourself... and think "why don't I screw up, then maybe I'll get some help here! I'm doing it by myself, despite extreme events and circumstances - why can't they?"