*shudder* Hi there. Long time listener first time commenter! EVERYONE's mother is the same. 100% fact. Pardon the over-long post, but: My maternal grandmother recently passed away (she was 84). She'd been looking increasingly frail over the past few months, and it wasn't a massive surprise but the circumstances were this: My parents (both retired) had gone touring round europe for 6 weeks in their camper van (as they do every year). While they'd been away, my gran had begun to feel unwell, and gradually deteriorated. When my folks got back and went to see her, she was skeletal, and it turned out had not eaten or been to the toilet for several weeks. (She lives in a warden-assisted McCarthy and Stone retirement block. very nice. Warden call buttons in every room. Checks every day. Obviously she didn't want to bother/worry them, so when the warden (who she'd formed a strong friendship with over the last few years) popped round every day, gran just said "oh yes, I'm fine thanks". So my parents took her to the hospital who couldn't diagnose anything specific, and then brought her back home with them to feed her up a bit and let her regain her strength. She didn't get much better, and eventually she was re-admitted to hospital, they found lots of cancer all over the place, and she died peacefully on her first day in a hospice. During and after my gran's death, my mother had many conversations with me despairing of how HER mother hadn't mentioned any of her ongoing ailments to her, and wouldn't ask for help or take proper care of herself. Recently, I found out after grilling my dad that she's going to need a new hip soon, and she has regular doctors appointments about her irregular heartbeat. Did I know of any of this? Did she help me MOVE HOUSE with a dodgy hip and not even mention it? Urgh. Mothers. Apologies again for length!