but if the behaviour is selfish... I, speaking for myself, think that when I was genuinely having all the panic attacks and mood swings and nerves and so on, with a reason for it all that no one in the world could or would argue with... I was still sometimes desperately in need of being told "you're being extraordinarily selfish - you've got problems but that doesn't preclude the fact that we have lives too!" by my friends and family. They really should have done it. Having a Genuine Mental Health Problem (tm) doesn't give a person the right to mess others about as if their friends were their own personal puppet theatre.