Sir Tom, In family therapy training here, ca 1988, I heard this (difficult) concept of "Non-attachment to outcome", the idea being that therapist cannot determine the choice(s) the client/customer makes, and so the professional has to feel satisfied by the quality of caring and effort & prof skill s/he contributed.... The challenge I find is to balance that with the basic wish to make a difference which got you/us into our areas of work/this mess in the first place - if you see what I mean. With respect, and good wishes for Xmas, which, I imagine, in your kind of work can be more busy than for many ? david / Brit. working in Chicago