The long term fix you suggest doesn't take into account first generation immigrants, drunks or tourists. How about "A Clockwork Orange" style ambo-wastage aversion therapy, with metal clasps to hold back eyelids, and a looping feature of you guys growling and striking aggressive poses with cups of tea, whilst old B*witched tracks play loudly in accompaniment? No-one would want to call you out then. You could use some social engineering to get maximum exposure - like the Anna Kournikova virus, ie: "Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt sex tapes", and for the kiddies "Santa's house - REVEALED!!". For those without email I'd recommend abduction. Sorry, woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.