I think you put your finger on a huge part of the problem. It's hard to recognize an abuser, out in the general public. Often, they seem to be lovely, upstanding gentlemen (*cough*) who are heard saying things like "people who do that are scum!" and turn around and do it themselves. Because, see, the "scum" label does not apply to them... because their wife/child/partner is responsible for his outbursts. Statistics, in North America, currently estimate that 1 in 4 women will have faced and survived abuse in their lifetime... often before the age of 25. We're talking physical, serious psychological and sexual abuse and assault. I'm sure it's not much different in the UK... What does that say about society as a whole...