The problem with asking "where does it hurt" in a language you don't speak is that you're likely to get a long complicated answer that you cannot hope to understand - better surely for incoming people to learn the language? I don't understand being "dragged along with the rest of the family" - most relocations affect more than one person, and it's quite likely everyone will have a life or death need to speak the language of their local emergency services and medics at some point in their life. It's often seemed to me that one way to maintain the paternalistic status quo from "the old country" in this land of gender equality is to discourage womenfolk from learning the lingo, thus keeping them effectively caged in from interacting with anyone except their own families and community. I hate being in a country where I don't speak the language, it feels like I'm in isolation behind an invisible wall, and actively discourages me from being too outgoing. I cannot imagine how it must feel to actually live my entire in a country where I couldn't make a simple request for a cup of water on a hot day, or ask for help if I needed it, outside the home and my own community.