There is also a huge difference between some self harm & threatening suicide to actually stabbing yourself in the stomach. Yes, I have met control freaks, (my grandmother being one of the best!) but I also work damned hard in reducing stigma in this kind of area.. damned hard and unpaid I might add. "Oh. lets not offer that person any help, they're obviously just a control freak / bad / a freak / desperate for attention" etc etc. It wasn't this guys first time, thats all we know, and personally, I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. To me 3 is a pattern of behaviour.. You're lucky in that you can cope with the end of a relationship / friendship without feeling like you simply cannot live without that person.. not just in a "oh I really really want to live with them still" but in a truely phobic kind of way (in the same way an agorophobic simply cannot go outside).