While I agree that on the basis of one paragraph we cannot "condemn" this bloke, we also cannot rush to assume a medical disorder that somehow makes his behaviour "okay". Medical diagnoses of long-term conditions are the exception, not the norm - I just know you're going to tell me about how one in three people have a mental health problem at some point in their lives, that is still a minority. We should never assume a clinical illness as "the benefit of the doubt". At best we can say, he was being thoughtless, with no regard for the feelings of the woman he purports to "love", and record that there is a possibility this was exacerbated by mental health difficulties which he may or may not have. If you work in this area you will know the difference between "being a bit depressed" and "having clinical depression". That's what I'm talking about. Not everything has to be clinical. Sometimes it can just be human. You say "three is a pattern of behaviour". I say, true, but it's *learned* behaviour - he did it once, it worked, so next time the situation arose, he did it again, and it worked, so next time the situation arose, he did it again... To break the cycle it has to Not Work. And demonstrating learned behaviour is not being mentally ill, it's normal, it's the basis of everything from potty training onwards.