Whilst normally I wouldn't touch this one with someone ELSE'S bargepole, your end line struck a chord with me and is in fact the only post I personally would choose to respond to. I too am shocked by some of the comments, although on further analysis I don't believe anyone means to be mean or demeaning, know what I mean? "...these characters..." is the phrase with which I am most uncomfortable though, Vic. What's wrong with calling them "people"? It just feels a bit dehumanising, especially when I realise that I am, by any loose definition, such a "character", with a history of self-harm and so-called "attention-seeking". Definitions time - (personal) - Self harm is, more often than not, done purely for the "benefit" of the abuser and not directed at anyone else. That's why most self-harm is HIDDEN! I am surprised no-one else has picked up on that, unless I missed it. "Attention-seeking" is defined further on...... Yes, academically the difference between one and the other might be a psychiatric review BUT such a review doesn't necessarily come down on one side or another...........I see the difference as simply as this..........attention-seeking is exactly what it is - seeking attention through an action which is quite often self-destructive in some way or other. Self-harm is not necessarily the same thing - by default, self harm is both a cause and effect of low self-esteem and that can affect mood and social ability. Such personality-affecting disorders often cause external signs which in themselves draw attention to unhappiness, despair, etc BUT the act of secretly cutting or what have you is not, because by definition it is not seen. A deliberate act of self-harm in an attempt to emtionally blackmail another person is very possibly a mixture of the two - and in my view both deserve compassion and understanding, for they are both acts borne out of a sense of emotional despair. I have done both in my 36 years on this planet and I can confidently assure readers that neither achieved any "goal" - quite the opposite, especially given the distaste one is often faced with, whether it be by misunderstanding the motives of either act or just pure revulsion at the sight of blood (I won't comment on stereo-typed judgementalism - it wouldn't be fair). But once my "condition" was diagnosed, I set out to find the right support group and peers, as well as treatment, and I no longer find it 'necessary' to do either. Neither does my partner. We both arrived at the same point from more or less opposite directions and we have formed a relationship which is not in the least bit co-dependent and we have succeeded in effectively treating the others' conditions (they differ slightly yet sufficiently significantly!). I hope that's brought some inside knowledge to the debate. I guess this subject cuts a little bit too close to the bone - yes the pun is intended - so sorry for waffling on. /j