Another blog that hits the nail on the head...again. It is harrowing to goto ODs like this, I can cope with the dealing with the patients, but the aftermath and the family are the things that choke me. Yes I get angry, but often I also feel a loss. Inspite of my experience and training I still feel a massive guilt that I couldn't do anymore for them...i know that often by the time we get called the people are beyond our help. I've read all the replies above and some of them are also very moving. Not in quite the same circumstances my cousin died when he was 15. He hung himself in a barn. I watched my family get torn apart by emotions that no-one knew how to deal with. Promises were made and not met, words were spoken that I hoped were just in the heat of the moment, after 13 years the wounds still haven't been healed. I have a real problem at work when I go to jobs where hangings are involved. I can deal with the situation but I need time out in the aftermath. Unless you have been there, I don't think you can appreciate just how destructive it can be. It's taken me a long time to get over the hate i felt towards my cousin, some of it is directed towards the people i now attend. However some of that hate has turned to pity...but I'm not sure who i feel the pity for, the deceased or those that they leave behind...