It's very true that perceptions differ - my mate was in shock! (Not medically, emotionally.) Point is, as ever, the fuss and extra care always goes to those who scream the loudest, despite the fact that others may be more in need of help. No-one believed she was actually in labour because she could TALK, and wasn't howling down the phone to the hospital. Bravery isn't factored in these days, we're all supposed to just let it all hang out. Well done on your two anyway, and agree re your concern in the last line.