When a previous boyfriend, an alcoholic with a violent streak, had passed out, vomited and was starting to choke, it took me a few seconds to decide to do the necessary first aid and call for an ambulance, the realisation that my life would be better without him in it gave me the impetus to ignore the threats and leave. Maybe, just maybe doddery old mum had the same 'decision' to make. Very sad any which way.