It's ONLY the ones you didn't know about, the ones who weren't called in, the ones who didn't even GET a chance, at all, that should keep us ALL up at night - by which I'm trying to say that, as a non-medic (but someone whose job is reliant also upon people's pain and loss, really) there's no shame in you being keen for the juicier cases. If I ever suffer a terrible carrot/chainsaw/goat-related bizarro-world injury (or indeed, just the consequences of something I thought was smart, going wrong) I'd rather be treated by a medical team - ambulance, A&E + intensive care - who delight in treating challenging cases, and not a bunch of beige uniforms who are timeservers, and despise automatically anyone who takes them away from their precious desks. Imagine for a moment a world in which doctors, EMTs, firefighters etc felt it was too much faffing to do their jobs and turned to them with the enthusiasm of a bored librarian! I bless and thank people who love their jobs: modern-day incompetance and poor service is purely caused by lost souls who don't even LIKE their jobs, let alone enjoy deploying their skills and getting elbow-deep in an issue. Okay, shutting up now, but I feel quite strongly about this!