When we lose the ability to feel and cry over something like this, it's time to change jobs. I know how you feel Tom having cared someone who generated similar feelings within me... It might be a breach of confidentiality (i've only been in this job part time for a few weeks and am still learning... let me know if i'm out of order!) but i doubt any of you will meet her and i'll keep it as vague as i can... When i first started working at the Nursing Home, i learnt to deal with all the kinds of illnesses you come to expect such as dementia and diabetes and for the most part i enjoyed learning about how to cater to the residenta individual needs. I guess most of you know that you get to be like a family in a Nursing Home if you're there often enough and actually give a damn. But one little lady's story still haunts me and is why i'm determined not to become a shallow empty shell. I initially thought she had had a stroke as she was all hunched and twisted (i know this isn't the most sympathetic terminology but i've not got enough medical knowledge to name it properly). I guess i should have read the care plans but you know what, i wasn't even told how to change a catheter, never mind that i should read the care plans. She was the sweetest little thing; when you brought her her breakfast and fed her, she would murmur about how nice it was and give you little smiles which just brightened your day. But sometimes the heart-wrenching fear in her eyes would chill you, as she cried and murmured for you not to go. I asked one of the more experienced Carer's why this was, thinking it was a side effect of her stroke. Turns out she wasn't suffering from a stroke but was the victim of 10 years of rape courtesy of her son. That was why she was so hunched, creid when you touched her legs and occasionally hated to be alone. That's why she was in the Nursing Home, couldn't walk, had to be fed a pureed diet and was on a concoction of god only knows what to keep her depression at bay. I don't even need to tell you how utterly incensed i was. In that moment i swore i was never going to be caught out like that again; i was going to know the care plans of all my residents. And whilst i may become hardened to the reality of working with such people and become somewhat robotic, hopefully this haunting picture of the utter BS life deals out to innocent people will remind me that actually i can feel emotion and that it IS a good thing. This is about a month later than everyone else but i had to get that off my chest. Keep fighting the good fight Tom, you've won over another fan here :) Helen x