I suppose there must be some good in him as you and your brother have turned out so well or maybe any "bad" characteristics you two may have are from him. Do you think so? It seems to me that your being single (and formerly you mentioned not liking to share a bed with a girl all night) shows perhaps a fear of commitment maybe because of him? He obviously could not commit and you are wary as you would hate to think of hurting someone else in the way your Mum was hurt. Better to be safe than sorry? I'm glad you knew what he was like before he left though, otherwise you might have yearned for something that was never there. I'm sure you sometimes wonder what life would be like if you had had a "proper" father. I should imagine your Mum was a Mum and Dad to you both and obviously did an amazing job. The whole thing is very sad and you are brave to talk about it, even though you don't care about him you must be livid with him for being so useless. I hope you don't object to my amateur psychologist ramblings, meant with the best intention. *Hugs*