Have a good birthday, and remember, the march to the grave is every moment of the year, not just when the number rolls over. "I include myself in that assessment" - Don't. You never abandoned a child. Despite your cynicism, you try to be a force for good, not evil. My father stayed and messed us up. So loyal, ha. Lack of imagination, I think. I always wished he had left. I was made to feel guilty for not 'appreciating' him for all he did to, um, -for- me. "Of course he loves you, he's your father!" That phrase made me feel insane most of my life, until I realized how much of a lie it was. Bury your father, in your imagination, but not in your head. He doesn't deserve the energy you expend on him.