A mate of mine who worked as an A&E doctor used to bring in a "trainee" while (usually drunk) patients were feigning unconsciousness. Said "trainee" would be any random member of staff. The conversation would go something like this: "Ok, so you see those scratches, well there's a risk that our patient will get tetanus. So basically we need to give them an injection. I'll get it ready..." "[expression of surprise], that needle's like a garden hose!" "Yeah, but that's what it needs. Tell you what, do you fancy doing this one?" Patient would usually miraculously regain full consciousness *instantly* right about now...