Some of it is early training. By younger brother used to beat me. He was taller and out weighed me by over a hundred pounds, but my mother always said it was my fault. One evening he knocked me out and I came to with him still kicking me. I was able to escape and ran down the street bleeding from my mouth, nose, and cuts on my face and arms. Someone I did not know came out and when they saw me, they invited me inside and called the police. The police sneered at me and my parents yelled. My eyes were black and swelled shut for a couple of days, and further punishment was heaped on me. My mother let me know that I was never to call the police for a family argument no matter what. She also told me that I should try being nicer to him and do whatever was needed not to provoke him. That night I had provoked him by eating some of the dinner that I had fixed for the two of us. After that anytime I tried to so much as defend myself, I was punished. Meek responses to his punching me out of the blue were acknowledged as appropriate. A few years later after I had moved out, I visited my mother and again he beat me bloody. This time he broke my nose. I insisted on going home and when I got there my husband took me to the doctor. My mother was scornful that I was leaving early and that I went to the doctor. Again she told me I just needed to be nicer and not provoke him. It was made very clear to me that it was entirely my fault. My refusal to attend family gatherings where he might show up is seen as a severe over reaction. I am told I should forgive and forget.