I still cry, after every bad call. My 30 yr paramedic partner has learned to just leave me to it. I'll be in the back of the ambulance, cleaning up and after a few minutes, he'll pop his head in the back door, "You done?" I'll sniff, "Yep" and off we go to the next one. One particular summer, at the very beginning of summer break, we had three adolescent fatalities in a row, that I had the unfortunate chance of attending. Being a mother of a 12 yr old this hit me pretty hard and I fell into a depression. That same paramedic had sage words for me. "They made the choice." A foolish choice resulted in each of their death. One tied a rope around his waist and the other end to the golf cart his mate was driving and got on his skateboard. Another was riding his bike in a busy road at dusk in dark clothes and another was playing with his father's gun when he accidentally shot his friend. I still cry after the full arrests, the fatality RTCs (and we have plenty of those where I live), the lovely oldies in the 'assisted living' facility who just drift off to "forever sleep", and the at home hospice care folks who finally given in to the cancer with their families at their side. I'm still human. So are you.