Hi Mr Reynolds, I have been reading your blog while recovering from a fairly non-life threatening, but debiliitating illness (glandular fever, ? , not confirmed yet). But I feel that I should take you up on a couple of points. My father was an alcoholic, and who knows exactly how deep the damage he might have caused to his family might have run. In 2005 my younger brother comitted suicide, pretty much out of the blue. He was a nurse, and so when he set up the overdose, knew what he was doing. My family was completely sideswiped - we didn't see it coming. 17 months later my father died instantaneously from a ruptured MI. This came at a point where I was trying to complete a PhD at UCL. UCL was unsympathetic, and kicked me off the course. For those last few weeks, then I think the ONLY way for me to feel OK was to get drunk. I'm sure you have come across people in much worse states than me, but I didn't see how I could make my life OK again. I can't answer for illegal drug users, but as I understand it, one quick try as a moment of stupidity can lead to a lifetime of addiction. After Jon died, one of your ambulances picked me up when I was distraught. I'll make no bones about this; they had to scrape me off the floor. I wonder what the people who picked me up must have thought of me. Perhaps there is always a story behind your pick-ups, and since I had had a shower and a meal within the last 12 hours, perhaps I seemed a genuine case. Maybe those other people are just one step further down the line for me... My drunkness faded, the loss didn't. On reaching hospital, I was referred to the correct departments. I was glad to go home. My brother was a nurse, and one of the reasons that we think he killed himself is that he was being bullied at work. This is how we live randomly and really. Borealis