I'm only a MOP, but you've touched a nerve here; something you often do in the course of your excellent blog. It seems to me that there is no such thing as a genuine 'carer' outside of an immediate family. When my Dad died, my wife and I gave up a good lifestyle, good money and rewarding careers to look after my 77 year old mother (advanced multiple myeloma sufferer), then my father in law (series of mini strokes) and now my mother in law (Parkinsons & a bunch of other stuff). Despite the financial loss I'm still glad that we did it; we were (and are) able to give some kind of love, affection and dignity at the end of their lives in addition to the bottom wiping, feeding & other practicalities. The best of the wartime generation, they never expected much, tended to be quite stoical and it has been a privilege to try and help them. Most of the welfare state was established on the back of their taxes and effort. After my Dad's death, a para-legal mentioned that she was also responsible for visiting elderly people in care homes for who her firm held power of attorney. As a result, she was 'part of the furniture' and saw those institutions as they really were. She seemed to be a really nice person who declared herself to be a Christian. I'm wary of organised religion, but as far as I could see she practised what she preached. She knew and visited just about every care home within a 15 mile radius and told me that if she knew she was going to be admitted to *any* of them then she would commit suicide. She didn't say this lightly. Given her religious belief, it spoke volumes to me. While taking our parents to various hospital clinics or visiting them on those occasions when they've had to be admitted, we have seen other families trying to do the same. Many were less fortunate in financial terms, but they still struggle on. It is very hard, but in talking with them, you learn more of the awful reality of the alternatives. It is hard though. There is virtually no financial support, tax relief or anything else: and when someobody dies, the taxman's clock starts ticking. I could write a book about how crap it all is to deal with, both financially and emotionally. Whenever I see Tony Robinson or Michael Parkinson or some other celeb wittering on about improving the standard of care for the elderly, I'm afraid I have a very cynical reaction. Is it done for the benefit of their own consciences, or as just another earning opportunity? We all make choices in life. They chose to walk away and have somebody else look after their parents. You can't contract out love, affection or genuine care. They should just live with what they have done & shut up IMO - they don't have to justify it to me. In our experience, the state (our taxes) always manifests itself in the end as a clip-board carrying jobsworth radiating the warmth and humanity of a brick. The past few years have turned me from being a bit of a pinko into preferring that the government cut our taxes, get out of our lives & leave us more to use as we see fit. On the positive side, I have lost all faith in the BBC and mainstream media 'reporting' and rely more on blogs like this for a feel as to what is actually happening on the various front lines. Sorry for rambling on. I'll stop now.