I'm so sorry you feel this way. You are very clever, I couldn't begin to understand any of the stuff you mention. I've been reading your blog for a couple of years and recently you do seem to be fed up and ready for a change. There must be something out there for you, something which involves health care, teaching, computers - are there any NHS / LAS positions that require your skills? If you want to stay in the ambulance service how about a move to a different part of the country- is there somewhere where there's more to it than picking up drunks? Does the LAS arrange any sabbaticals or would they pay you if you arranged your own? Our GP managed to arrange a 9/12 sabbatical in Spain/ Gibraltar comparing GP work with England. I'm sure your brain power hasn't gone for ever!