Is this person calling you a "dim bulb"? :-D I remember a course that was offered in house where we learned to be creative; swinging your stethoscope around and smacking the guy upside the head with it or shoving the bedside stand or IV pole at them. You could start a list of all the things you have at hand We had a lot of fun with it. . . (P.S. I, too, feel your pain)