Hi there, Just to say that I am a lurker who really enjoys reading your blog, I love the clear writing and the insight it gives into another health service beaurocracy (I work for the mental health service in NZ and have trouble sometimes coping with the unco ordinated and irrational nature of the systems and especially the dissonance between what we say we do and what we actually do. Somehow reassuring to know that this happens in other sections of other health services alongside the obvious commitment and competence of workers like yourself. As a long term depressive myself I am so sorry to hear that you have these horrid symptoms of SAD – I’m sure you don’t need me to suggest a light box – you will know all about these and have reasons for not using it or have tried it unsuccessfully. However I have just completed a 10 day course that might be of interest/use. I went on a 10 day Vipassna meditation retreat. This is a fairly heavy duty meditation training (get up at 4am final session finishes at 9 and just 3 breaks during the day, although for sleep addicts like myself there are spots where it is possible to sneak off for a nap) it has not really lessened my anxiety/depression, but it has sort of enabled me to accept it more easily and continue to function, and even live a bit, alongside it – allowing it but also allowing me (as compared to trying to escape or repress it which are previous failed approaches). They run these courses internationally in loads of countries including UK and they have great financial integrity, you pay what you want to pay after the course, there is no pressure, but they do let you know the actual cost of providing a course (relatively minimal as all the teaching and service work is voluntary) so you can relate your payment to that.