Its a hard one to answer, even for me. I've done it twice, years ago and have had a few go's at self harm (have a scar to go with it). I think it all depends on the person, the harming for me was more punishing myself but I think I saw the suicide as the easy way out. I've since found some sort of purpose and It doesn't even cross my mind these days. So I'm pretty much fine now and ,in some ways surprisingly, no one even knows about it.