After spending weeks of overdosing excessive drink 2 litres of vodka nearly every day, 34-40 beta blockers daily, personally thought would never wake up again. One day did not work, did it again, non stop, did it through a life of abuse then severe depression which takes you to depths that you just do not know about unless you have been there. Pain hurt, severe depression was nothing in this world wished to live for, unfortunately the Police found me a few times i refused treatment, but unfortunately they can act against your will (section 136) and so to A & E, not in an ambulance but police van....once there at any opportunity spaced out of my head, drunk, find the first opportunity to leave. They stay with you in A & E so you do not leave. They were very good and very caring, amazing how they care for you and about you. They actually offered myself all the help i wanted, one knelt in A & E telling me to do it, to get the help, the nurse remarked how much he cared. Never did i know the Police were like that, they explained it was also part of their work to care for people.....a side which needs to be made more aware off to the public. Despite not liking their finding me and searching everywhere, was also amazed at their understanding, knowledge and care they showed. Had a life of violence, abuse, facts prove that most women who suffer violence, rape, assault, abuse, are more likely to self harm, commit suicide, turn to alcohol and drugs. There is one reason why people do commit suicide, you can only do so much to a human being before they are driven right over the edge and unable to cope. Plus the aftermath, depression hurt/pain comes more intensely after leaving. If you do leave they search (the Police) take you back. This happened a few times, did not want treatment, was not bothered that my heart may have stopped or whatever they said, advised me, actually left with the things in my arm and so on. Left to carry on, once found out that the drugs/medication failed and drink, was going to add a third, unfortunately the Police started popping round and in my drunk spaced out state organization was not my strong point by now. Most of those months is a complete blur, did not even know who had talked too what had done and so on, until told, was on one self destruct course. Your post is somewhat like people do it as a cry for help or attention which have read on a few blogs, it is a mis-understanding, mental health is a real serious illness. This causes those with real problems to be classed in a minority they do not wish. Did not want attention at all, did not want anything, wanted them all to go away and leave me alone, did not even think about my family who are abusive totally and the cause of my being in this place. Felt embarrassed sat in A & E apologized profusely even though out of my head for wasting their time, was put on acute ward, left at first opportunity, within an hour, everywhere they put me i left.....such was my did not want to be there and also did not believe they could help me either, no one could. However, those in such a position/place do not care and cannot be bothered to explain, it only re-enforces the fact that people see the symptoms and do not see the whole person. The CMHT will not see you if you are drinking in excess, catch 22, neither will the therapy departments, to be on the list to receive treatment take weeks, up to 3 months, the mental health system is under resourced in many areas. For people who do wish to receive help it is often a long drawn out affair to get this into place. To even call out the people on weekend to section someone takes hours, a day long, i know as i was sectioned against my will in the end, the Police sat with me in A & E for 12 hours whilst they tried to move it into place, even the Police had no idea what was happening. Was in hospital 2 - 3 days made informal and left straight away....terrible experience and for someone abused only reinforces that abuse, treatment that is coerced has been proved to fail on many points. Especially when it serves to remind of why some people are there (life of abuse). It is difficult for some people abused to trust and to be able to talk to anyone, having had it drilled in them never to trust anyone and never to talk especially for childhood. Whatever brings a person to actually want not to live is serious, to go against the natural instinct in all human beings to survive is very unnatural...within us all is the instinct to survive, to then go against it and see death as the most inviting thing, is not a light matter. IF people do it for a cry for help then they have problems....no one who is serious is bothered or cares about what anyone thinks, seriously can tell you in my mind did not even think about my own children, in those moments, blackness, severe, all that was in my mind was leaving this world, all else went totally from my mind.....that is an incredible place to be, when you survived just for your children, for your mind to completely forget them not even think about them..... Suicidal thoughts are very real in severe depression, it is an experience that you hope others do not have to go through. 8 weeks ago stopped drinking everything went cold turkey, all by myself, was told was high risk of fitting, had to be detoxed in hospital, but that did not bother me, today weeks later still awaiting to see the Doctor who can start my treatment, will not be until middle of December.......it is holding on hours, day by day, through mental anguish, the suicidal thoughts still there very much so, but this time would just do something else rather than the above, however, if someone can help me to live the life dreamed about, just to be able to live with out the immense hurt and pain inside every day......then we will see....it is immobilizing at its worst, at its best it is doing daily functions others take for granted....maybe that is why people want to commit suicide, they have seen life, they only know abuse, then when they leave and may get the chance to actually live they get a life of being immobilized by a stupid illness caused through the abuse purely....mental health illness is hard to understand for people outside who do not experience it. It is also a warning for all those women still in domestic abuse/violence, to get out, whilst they still have their health and life somewhat intact, they never change. Plus will say out of all the people who saw, they are an exceptional few who are stars within the system and work all they can to help. Perhaps when people see someone within the profession just personally hope that they do not miss someone like myself and class them as whatever......that is my hope,(no one treated myself like that, they all cared and did their best knowing presume what had lead to all this) they are vulnerable people hurting and in lots of pain at how they have been treated all their life's. They have already been made weak made to feel so low, to emerge out of it, takes a great deal of courage and strength, they do not have the coping skills that others have, they tend to run into more self harm, having suffered harm to themselves all their life's. That is a fact. If you look up the facts it will show the high percentage of abused people more likely to do these things. Words on a page seem light to experience violence, day in and day out for years, takes everything away for you, they stay trapped in immense fear, isolated, controlled, to actually live that life is another world far removed from someone who goes home and relaxes.