It was a struggle, but I also had a lot of friends around looking out for me. I think the fact that I'd been at such a low ebb for so long actually worked in my favour. I knew that generally I wasn't suicidal and I just developed some coping strategies that worked for me. I think that there is a major problem with the support that the CMHT teams have. The time before last that I went to a doctor after I moved down here (I now live in the South West) I was told that without a documented recent suicide attempt I wouldn't even make it on to the waiting list. Luckily my new company has an Employee Assistance Programme, so finally I'm getting some professional help, rather than having to make it up myself.