It's strange, elderly jobs are often the worst. Massive trauma, resus, paedi jobs - they're all the stuff you train for. You don't really get trained in how to cope with the elderly in the same way. Ok, so you have the theory of elderly medicine, but not how to cope with dementia patients, how to get through to them, and how to treat them as people. It's winter, and unfortunately you get a lot of this around this time. Combined with the long nights and SAD, and I can see why you're getting miserable. But soon it will be summer, and you'll have long sunny days, filled with drunk teenagers instead! The fact you write so poetically about the plight of the elderly means you still care. And while you still care, then you're the best thing for the job. Whether the job is the best thing for you is another matter, however.