Man, you sure know how to put it into words! I was a night care assistant for 8 years and never want to do it again. I still remember them and still feel the odd sob for the ones that tugged at the heart. And probably like you, I spent half the night on the computer because my stupid body clock is all mucked up, even though I can't have a lovely afternoon kip! I wish I could help you, I can only agree with others who can feel you caringness (?) in your posts. You do make a difference. Be proud, you are one of a select group of very special people. Bigs gentle *hugs* to you all.