OK, firstly, I try to live to my own code, one part is be true to yourself. This isn't an easy way but its an honest way and you get to sleep at night. Tom, you have to do what you think is right, never bottle stuff up, its bad for you as you've found. Even if you don't want to write it in here, write it somewhere it'll make you feel better. From my POV I like to read this blog for an honest account of the state of our ambulance service. Being an ex nurse, I feel blogs like this are important for people to see the truth, not just the massaged figures. Hope it goes well for you, and if u get flak from LAS, give us an address to write to, we'll support the 'London one' :)