Tom - every winter you scare your audience by threatening to pack it all in and never come back. Please don't! I totally get how SAD makes you feel - and how your life seems less interesting to you than it does to everyone else. I have nothing to do with the ambulance service but I have read every single post you've written here because what you do is life writ large: you go to work in the morning to use your training to save lives, then spend all day driving maternataxis to a schedule. There's great literature in there somewhere (and pretty near the surface in your case). If what you need is to spend a month writing 50,000 words about slaying a dragon and saving the world and that will help you face the mundane crap that goes with the really important things you do, please do that. After all, it's why most people read it (and goodness knows there's always a market for good ones). Why not write a revenge fantasy where the dragon is the AMT and gets to frazzle the timewasters? But whatever you write, please don't leave us.