In every A&E department across London at least there is pretty much a 24 hour police attendance. I suggest a dedicated 'hospital liaison police officer' - much like schools have dedicated officers - this officer can then deal with the assaults, criminal injuries and other reasons for officers attending the department (victim statements and the like). They can also be the ones issuing fixed fines to those 'drunk and incapable' once they sober up enough to understand. Deputise me, I'll do it...