When you said suspended, first I thought "They call an ambulance because she was in trouble and got kicked out of school?" Then you said dead, I thought she'd hanged herself. Ah, I love when Jargon actually works, if you know what it means it is perfect, and it keeps people who would panic from worrying. As for bad jokes.... When I roll my patients into surgery, I do the amusement park announcment "Please keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times and enjoy your day here at XYZ Hospital!"